Well, here am far beyond 4 days of my last lesson ( hand over my mouth) - and I”m just starting on lesson two! This one fell a bit flat for me, but it could because CLEARLY I’m resistant to my sabotaging ego which is very much in control still! I will say that after I made my list I did accomplish the things I set out to do. And I have consistently, made an effort to keep my room clean-er, not waiting until it is too much to handle. How did you do? And did you keep on, did you put your list up where you can see it? That part really helps be accountable as well. While I moved in the direction of my expanding potency, I also felt a very strong current to keep me grounded in the non-growing capacity and yet I still let it control me. I fear this beast might be much bigger than I thought.

Now on to Lesson Two, take inventory of our lessons. This meditation was about what are the big lessons to learn. She writes down a few examples of her own for us to follow, but I didn’t quite resonate with most of them. One did stick out though. She writes ” Clean up your past. Our outer world is reflective of our inner world. If our inner world is packed tight with old grudges and resentments, old integrity issues and unfinished business, limiting beliefs, worn-out fantasies and outdated dreams, it’s virtually impossible for the universe to give you the abundance that is waiting for you. “

The big lesson that was pretty much the main story for me is that I’m waiting for the universe to do its damn job! I’m choosing and creating and yet, why aren’t the things I’m telling myself I choose showing up! Because somewhere I’m not choosing them. I might think I am but I’m not, spending time meditating or setting the intentions for what I desire. I’m personally caught in a light cycle of total allowance which then swishes back to total panic. Ying and yang all at the same time. I start to just let things flow and watch things shift, like the sun rises and sets, then I observe some intricate details that act like a suction to the ego and spin backwards, worrying about how it’s all going to work out. EGO - Why won’t you just let me be? The bottom line for me is consistent action towards your desires. I most likely don’t have to work so hard to get there, but I do have to keep focusing on what the Intention is no matter what. Which brings me to the sabotage. I’m an aquarius, and if anyone knows our sign we’re like the ADDs of the zodiac. Like a 2 year can focus on one thing for an extended period of time (NOT!) and aquarius/humanoid like me gets bored and I do something for a little bit then I have to do something else. Right now I dance my joy time between crocheting, learning to play piano, reading and writing on this blog. NOT one thing and this could be part of my pattern of sabotage, we shall see! So I am going to make a commitment to go easy on myself and stay out of judgment as I find out what the source of this is… ultimately, its my soul’s expansion I desire and all these distractions have been preventing me and keeping me from my truth. I’ll never find out unless I brave the path, come with me. What is your lesson?

Debbie says ” In taking inventory of some of your life’s most challenging patterns and lessons, it’s not unusual to have feelings of overwhem, anger and even passionate self-determination arise.” I’m not sure the last one is what I’m experiencing, but the awareness that “SOMETHING” is trying hard to keep me stuck - is freeing all by itself… its like that point dissolves and other aspects can now freely move about the cabin. Hmmmmm what else is in here I don’t know about!

Keep going on your lessons! This week, we have to create a list of unfinished business and get to it! Easy enough says the procrastinating saboteur!

FREE GOODIES : Say this all week too!
“What else can I add to my life to generate the change I desire? What can I add to my life today that will generate, create, and institute money & awareness now and in the future and create lots of fun in my life?”

Peace and Harmonic Prosperity!
Alexandra

After listening to the meditation I was refreshed, Debbie has a great voice and the meditation was fabulous. Listen to it with headphones on your laptop, the best! The meditation brought up questions of why you are self-sabotaging? And the great thing about meditations is your mind gets to go on hiatus, so you have the ability to actually receive the information freely without your thoughts about it. The messages that became obvious to me about why I am sabotaging myself, were… well, that if I actually became as potent as I truly be, then everything else in my life would go away. Meaning if I step into my greatness, lose the weight and get my business out into the world largely, then I life as I know it would change and life is finally in a good place for me. But is that what we want to be safe or to be bold and bring about great change. I truly do want to be extraordinary and be a part of the beginning of the new world cycle we are about to enter into. I thought the information coming to be was pretty relevant, because the first time I took an Access Consciousness Class, that is exactly what they told me. That I was this immense being that was trying to fit myself into a little bubble so that people could receive me and see me, it resonated. So how do I move into the being that I am supposed to be? Read the rest of this entry »

So before I get into the lesson, I just want to say Thank you to those of you who are participating with me… please share your experiences… I love it when I’m not alone on this blog island, speaking to just the waves. ( Tracy rules) And secondly, that my ego or the aspect of me that is honoring the self-sabotaging traits is VERY powerful. I signed up on Monday and knowing I want to do this course, still procrastinated. Not only did I procrastinate, but I had an overwhelming and quite uncontrollable urge to eat tons of pierogies yesterday. For those of you that are non-polish, they are delicious dumplings filled with meat, potatoes or sauerkraut -my mother in law makes them fresh. The bizarre part is that I never really defy myself and eat out emotion, mostly just to fuel the body or have an occasional treat. But since this “issue” for me appears to be about food, it was like my subconscious was screaming for help with every pierogi bite. My point: YOU are powerful and clearly, I’m about to create a new way of being that will threaten this aspect of myself, which clearly I’m excited about. But it just proves that point that we are not always in control of ourselves, yet we think we are and then when I ate those pierogies I had major guilt and judgment about it, until I stopped the flow of emotion that started to flood. Confirming this is just one day of my life and I chose to have those because I wanted them. Sometimes that it what it takes - the awareness and then preventing the damaging behavior, in my case Judgment. Because Judgment will only lock you down and keep you in a place where you are creating from a negative space, we call it “sticking yourself.” Judgment doesn’t do any good for anyone, especially you. That being said, let the lessons begin!

For starters Debbie says: As we come to understand the mechanisms and patterns that underlie self-sabotage, we begin to free ourselves… we begin to allow ourselves to interact with ourselves and the world with greater success, joy and fulfillment.

The instructions for this work sounds pretty simple. Debbie asks us to get a journal and identify what we’re about to do, in my case end self sabotage in the area of food! She asks us to find a picture of ourselves before the age of 10 when were innocent and happy, she tells us to mark our calendars for meditation and lesson work for the next 8 weeks. She suggests carving out time away from everything, cell phone, family, etc… and my favorite part, she writes…

“We also understand that resistance and doubt naturally come up when you’re taking the steps to release the past and step into a new level of consciousness.”

Hmmmmm. My example above clearly shows exactly that. Debbie asks us to trust the process. Lucky for me I’ve dove into processes like these several times, over the last 15 years and know that each time I do trust the process and move into the awareness that in the end this will help me, it always does. It’s like getting your homework done and getting a passing grade, you get to move on to the next level and this is your life people! You don’t get to stay in the same place all the time you are designed to evolve and grow and the way I look at it, you might as well be proactive with your life… so you can achieve more and receive more. Life is rewarding and if we don’t sift through the gouk then how will we ever know, exactly how rewarding it can be!

I’m about to go into the meditation and lesson. I want to share that Debbie has a whole page of Free Gifts for when you start this course too… The usual support list, educating yourself about others in the field who can offer support. I found a download of piece of music and a .pdf on writing a book that might help, so that’s always fun getting free gifts for confronting your issues!

Off to change my ways. If you haven’t signed up, I say go for it! What do you have to lose? LOTS! Only valuable days of your life. Its only $10 if you want. And for the record, I have no affiliation with Debbie Ford. I’m merely doing this for myself and using myself as an example, hoping to open the hearts and eyes of people to assist them in finding their true joy. My experience sharing is my contribution.

Sign up here!

Peace and Blessings,
Alexandra drinking I AM LOVED water today!

Ever feel like things just aren’t going the way you planned? You’ve been aiming for the bulls-eye for quite some time and yet, you’re still not there yet! Let’s get raw and real together! As the creator of AQUAMANTRA, I have been using the tools of the universe since I created AQUAMANTRA both in my personal life and with my business. And even though I share these stories with you and am a wonderful speaker, I too have issues with several categories of my existence. So when I read today’s Daily Om post about Debbie Ford’s 14 Lesson plan to overcome self-sabotage, I thought this is a great opportunity to dig in for me and for anyone reading this blog and to support Debbie Ford. It does however, require a lot of courage to do something like this. Most people won’t do this because it will require us deal with the fact that we are creators of our own life and that is not so easy. For me, I am totally aware of this quality and yet I continue to own this bizarre pattern so I’m super excited about uncovering the patterns that are ‘gulp’ keeping me heavy. Eating is one of my heavy traits. I don’t necessarily love to eat, but I find that when I do really well, like workout for a consecutive period of time and get on a good train of well-being. Then I have a little break, like the cruise I just went on and blew it. Now that I’m back in town I should get back on the cycle and I’m aware of it, yet, there’s an aspect of me that supports the sabotage! Instead, what do I do? I keep eating and go on the other end, quesadillas, ice cream, stuff I know is not so great for my well-being. It’s like I”m out of the body so I don’t have to deal with something? And yet… I’m aware but not addressing it. Clearly, I need to overcome self- sabotage and this can be applied to several areas of our lives. So… Who’s down for the challenge? It only costs $25! How does it get any better than this? I’ll be taking this course, and documenting my experiences so you can read what I write and follow along or take it with me and we’ll do it together. This is your life and you can choose to move forward, taking action or you can sit back and let it happen to you. The more you address your stuff, the quicker it will subside and allow you to access the true glory that is you. Don’t be a bystander, well, you can’t really you are the creator of your life! What’s it going to be? Of course, we’ll make sure to be drinking I AM LOVED water throughout the process!

I’m ready to take action! Click here….

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