Well, here am far beyond 4 days of my last lesson ( hand over my mouth) - and I”m just starting on lesson two! This one fell a bit flat for me, but it could because CLEARLY I’m resistant to my sabotaging ego which is very much in control still! I will say that after I made my list I did accomplish the things I set out to do. And I have consistently, made an effort to keep my room clean-er, not waiting until it is too much to handle. How did you do? And did you keep on, did you put your list up where you can see it? That part really helps be accountable as well. While I moved in the direction of my expanding potency, I also felt a very strong current to keep me grounded in the non-growing capacity and yet I still let it control me. I fear this beast might be much bigger than I thought.

Now on to Lesson Two, take inventory of our lessons. This meditation was about what are the big lessons to learn. She writes down a few examples of her own for us to follow, but I didn’t quite resonate with most of them. One did stick out though. She writes ” Clean up your past. Our outer world is reflective of our inner world. If our inner world is packed tight with old grudges and resentments, old integrity issues and unfinished business, limiting beliefs, worn-out fantasies and outdated dreams, it’s virtually impossible for the universe to give you the abundance that is waiting for you. “

The big lesson that was pretty much the main story for me is that I’m waiting for the universe to do its damn job! I’m choosing and creating and yet, why aren’t the things I’m telling myself I choose showing up! Because somewhere I’m not choosing them. I might think I am but I’m not, spending time meditating or setting the intentions for what I desire. I’m personally caught in a light cycle of total allowance which then swishes back to total panic. Ying and yang all at the same time. I start to just let things flow and watch things shift, like the sun rises and sets, then I observe some intricate details that act like a suction to the ego and spin backwards, worrying about how it’s all going to work out. EGO - Why won’t you just let me be? The bottom line for me is consistent action towards your desires. I most likely don’t have to work so hard to get there, but I do have to keep focusing on what the Intention is no matter what. Which brings me to the sabotage. I’m an aquarius, and if anyone knows our sign we’re like the ADDs of the zodiac. Like a 2 year can focus on one thing for an extended period of time (NOT!) and aquarius/humanoid like me gets bored and I do something for a little bit then I have to do something else. Right now I dance my joy time between crocheting, learning to play piano, reading and writing on this blog. NOT one thing and this could be part of my pattern of sabotage, we shall see! So I am going to make a commitment to go easy on myself and stay out of judgment as I find out what the source of this is… ultimately, its my soul’s expansion I desire and all these distractions have been preventing me and keeping me from my truth. I’ll never find out unless I brave the path, come with me. What is your lesson?

Debbie says ” In taking inventory of some of your life’s most challenging patterns and lessons, it’s not unusual to have feelings of overwhem, anger and even passionate self-determination arise.” I’m not sure the last one is what I’m experiencing, but the awareness that “SOMETHING” is trying hard to keep me stuck - is freeing all by itself… its like that point dissolves and other aspects can now freely move about the cabin. Hmmmmm what else is in here I don’t know about!

Keep going on your lessons! This week, we have to create a list of unfinished business and get to it! Easy enough says the procrastinating saboteur!

FREE GOODIES : Say this all week too!
“What else can I add to my life to generate the change I desire? What can I add to my life today that will generate, create, and institute money & awareness now and in the future and create lots of fun in my life?”

Peace and Harmonic Prosperity!
Alexandra